How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize