I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
