Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
