I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
