O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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