We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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