I could make wine with my vomit
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
