Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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