I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
