You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
