Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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