are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
