wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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