try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize