I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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