I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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