He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
