Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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