i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
