Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
