Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize