idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
