Define "chronic" masturbator.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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