Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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