She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
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I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
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The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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