He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize