You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
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