ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
