That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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