I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have feelings that need drinking.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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