Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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