Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
