My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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