He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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