i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
