Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
