Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
