Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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