okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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