I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
