Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
