Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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