Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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