I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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