dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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