How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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