and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
