If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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