so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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