you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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