Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
