I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
