I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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