Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
