i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
