ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
