my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
