Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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