the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
