I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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