therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
