Do you still have your period?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
