your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
