It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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