Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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