nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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