Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it's like iHOP with fire
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
